Things always ain’t as bright as they look..
Here I sit on my office PC and write this while I look out the glass window right by my side. It’s the 1st day of April, and even being inside the premises I can feel the bright sunshine. So, finally spring is making its way to the United Kingdom soil. How eagerly have I been waiting to see the flowers bloom, green colours taking over the moron and lifeless trees? I landed up this time here in UK when winters were in peak and there was nothing much to like about the weather, unless it snowed, but sadly in this part of the country where I live snow fall was a far fetched dream. So all my eagerness was awaiting a change in the season!!
To add to my excitement was the return from the recent amazing trip to Italy with a set of ten people – half of them I met for the first time on the trip itself and only a few I knew earlier. But who cares, coz where there’s a ‘me’, party begins and there I was, at the end of the trip loaded with a gang of new mates as we headed for our respective homes. The trip was the culprit which amplified my desires to spend more time here in UK. Not even had we reached the finishing line of our current tour, we all were set to planning for the next Euro trip!!
''May be the Swiss alps..''………………''Hey, what about meeting some Greek Gods??''……………..''Can we see some crystals @ Swarovski, Austria?''………..''We can jolly well try the Dublin night life.'' ……and many more fancy ideas like this..
Before we take a plunge into my woeful mind, let me paint a fade picture of my stint at UK – I was here on an official assignment @ my client’s oofice and my time of stay here was very capricious, so I never knew when and what would happen next day. But ya some bit of planning always goes in the corporate world and its businesses and its not always too bizarre!!
To my good luck I am having a wonderful group of friends here and all looked nice for the coming days. Summer’s approaching, season’s changing, and places are getting colourful with newer shades, not to forget - my plans of seeing different parts of Europe in the comings days. Officially also, I was all well equipped as my visa validity supported me for a long time. So it was just a matter of time when I would have taken a fly to another exotic destination.
All said and done, it still doesn’t mean it won’t rain when the sky is clear. And you are sure to get drenched (even though the forecasts were for a sunny day) the day you plan an outing and unfortunately forget your umbrella. I fail to understand at this point who to blame – the forecasts or my negligence of not going out prepared??
Here I was, all into plans, thoughts, and discussions about another holiday, and suddenly hell breaks. For many of you this won’t be as bad as ‘hell’, but still the news was shattering to me. The plans with my client had abruptly changed and they wanted me to go back and join my offshore gang, and work from our Indian office. So metaphorically even on a bright sunny day I stand all soaked to the skin – anyone taking the blame??
So it was adios to my current UK stay and a full stop, at least for the time being…till I come back again. Now I really didn’t know how to so rapidly pick up all the pieces and pack everything into my suitcase. It’s not just apparels and accessories I am talking about. For me there are much bigger things in life that take precedence – chunks of times spent with great friends, morsels of dreams to see more of this part of the world, specks of my comfortable stay, fragments of easy life I was leading here, crumbs of hassle free days, scraps of peace in life, flecks of great weekends out of the house..and much more..
Foremost thing was for me to accept and take-in the fact that I was to get back in a matter of days, seven days to be precise. Getting back to normalcy after this huge setback demanded huge efforts on my part. Reasons for feeling so dull about going back has more of an emotional footing than financial or any other. I didn’t have much to look upto when I went back to Chennai, best among them were – the scorching heat, the fact that my best friends were now out of town, no trips to visit Europe, day to day pestering lingual problem, look for a roof to stay under and much more.
As I sit in my office and write all this, all my will power goes into stopping tears to trickle down my cheeks. All the enthusiasm and fervour that I had has turned into a hollow and not any amount of solace is enough to bring the slightest smile to my face. Some may call me an emotional wreck, reacting needlessly to a trivial issue but such sudden transitions are not my preference. I know it’s a part and parcel of the job I do and I can’t be so demanding about my movement, but some bit of space is all I wanted. A little more decent and better (if not well) informed directive was the least I expected, when I worked for the respectful MNC.
Where in the world is seven days fair enough a time, with so many formalities (you can count personal ones in them too) to complete?? Just when the little bird is giving the finishing touches to its newly built nest in the alien land, you so politely walk your way through and tell her ‘it’s time to fly again baby’!! I had just about settled myself in the new environment, office and personal that I need to be nomadic again!! Just ain’t fair.
You may call me gutless and chicken-hearted, but it just is not the fear of going back, not even terror of facing the challenges back in my offshore office. It’s a feeling too difficult to be articulated in words. Vulnerability is creeping into my blood streams and detestation is all I feel in my current state of affairs.
Words fail me as I sit here heavy hearted and try to pick up my senses. Good things don’t last a lifetime, and need to be cherished even if they were with you for an infinitesimal amount of time.
Be it the countless movies I saw with my unlimited cine world card, or the tasteful food that my aunty cooked for me where I stayed as a paying guest; with staying connected to the web all the time to all of those weekends when I turned into a gypsy and stayed out of the house; all those places I wandered in London with friends and the late nights; from the train journeys (national/tube/dlr etc.) to the pocketful of penny and £s; from the ‘me’ clad in woollens to the skimpily dressed gals with high heeled boots; all the new and plentiful of posh cars on the roads to the gorgeous white hunks (oooooooh); the checking of day’s weather on bbc.com and the planning for the holidays; from making new friends to those long gossips with mom hundreds miles away in India; from trying new cuisines to international fragrances; the winter/spring sales here to those boring dull meetings with client…all this and so much more......
So, even though I go back, so unexpectedly, I take back with me a load full of happy reminiscences, some with friends, some spent alone..Life doesn’t end here, and I am not too much of a loser to crumple at this juncture, but undoubtedly there are some dents that my going back has brought up, which will prick me till long time.
To sum it up all I would say is don’t curse the skies when out of the blue they pour their mercy upon you, even on a bright sunny day…coz the best part of it is that, its then you get to see the wonderful colours with the rainbow….and trust me it will be delightful!!
Here I sit on my office PC and write this while I look out the glass window right by my side. It’s the 1st day of April, and even being inside the premises I can feel the bright sunshine. So, finally spring is making its way to the United Kingdom soil. How eagerly have I been waiting to see the flowers bloom, green colours taking over the moron and lifeless trees? I landed up this time here in UK when winters were in peak and there was nothing much to like about the weather, unless it snowed, but sadly in this part of the country where I live snow fall was a far fetched dream. So all my eagerness was awaiting a change in the season!!
To add to my excitement was the return from the recent amazing trip to Italy with a set of ten people – half of them I met for the first time on the trip itself and only a few I knew earlier. But who cares, coz where there’s a ‘me’, party begins and there I was, at the end of the trip loaded with a gang of new mates as we headed for our respective homes. The trip was the culprit which amplified my desires to spend more time here in UK. Not even had we reached the finishing line of our current tour, we all were set to planning for the next Euro trip!!
''May be the Swiss alps..''………………''Hey, what about meeting some Greek Gods??''……………..''Can we see some crystals @ Swarovski, Austria?''………..''We can jolly well try the Dublin night life.'' ……and many more fancy ideas like this..
Before we take a plunge into my woeful mind, let me paint a fade picture of my stint at UK – I was here on an official assignment @ my client’s oofice and my time of stay here was very capricious, so I never knew when and what would happen next day. But ya some bit of planning always goes in the corporate world and its businesses and its not always too bizarre!!
To my good luck I am having a wonderful group of friends here and all looked nice for the coming days. Summer’s approaching, season’s changing, and places are getting colourful with newer shades, not to forget - my plans of seeing different parts of Europe in the comings days. Officially also, I was all well equipped as my visa validity supported me for a long time. So it was just a matter of time when I would have taken a fly to another exotic destination.
All said and done, it still doesn’t mean it won’t rain when the sky is clear. And you are sure to get drenched (even though the forecasts were for a sunny day) the day you plan an outing and unfortunately forget your umbrella. I fail to understand at this point who to blame – the forecasts or my negligence of not going out prepared??
Here I was, all into plans, thoughts, and discussions about another holiday, and suddenly hell breaks. For many of you this won’t be as bad as ‘hell’, but still the news was shattering to me. The plans with my client had abruptly changed and they wanted me to go back and join my offshore gang, and work from our Indian office. So metaphorically even on a bright sunny day I stand all soaked to the skin – anyone taking the blame??
So it was adios to my current UK stay and a full stop, at least for the time being…till I come back again. Now I really didn’t know how to so rapidly pick up all the pieces and pack everything into my suitcase. It’s not just apparels and accessories I am talking about. For me there are much bigger things in life that take precedence – chunks of times spent with great friends, morsels of dreams to see more of this part of the world, specks of my comfortable stay, fragments of easy life I was leading here, crumbs of hassle free days, scraps of peace in life, flecks of great weekends out of the house..and much more..
Foremost thing was for me to accept and take-in the fact that I was to get back in a matter of days, seven days to be precise. Getting back to normalcy after this huge setback demanded huge efforts on my part. Reasons for feeling so dull about going back has more of an emotional footing than financial or any other. I didn’t have much to look upto when I went back to Chennai, best among them were – the scorching heat, the fact that my best friends were now out of town, no trips to visit Europe, day to day pestering lingual problem, look for a roof to stay under and much more.
As I sit in my office and write all this, all my will power goes into stopping tears to trickle down my cheeks. All the enthusiasm and fervour that I had has turned into a hollow and not any amount of solace is enough to bring the slightest smile to my face. Some may call me an emotional wreck, reacting needlessly to a trivial issue but such sudden transitions are not my preference. I know it’s a part and parcel of the job I do and I can’t be so demanding about my movement, but some bit of space is all I wanted. A little more decent and better (if not well) informed directive was the least I expected, when I worked for the respectful MNC.
Where in the world is seven days fair enough a time, with so many formalities (you can count personal ones in them too) to complete?? Just when the little bird is giving the finishing touches to its newly built nest in the alien land, you so politely walk your way through and tell her ‘it’s time to fly again baby’!! I had just about settled myself in the new environment, office and personal that I need to be nomadic again!! Just ain’t fair.
You may call me gutless and chicken-hearted, but it just is not the fear of going back, not even terror of facing the challenges back in my offshore office. It’s a feeling too difficult to be articulated in words. Vulnerability is creeping into my blood streams and detestation is all I feel in my current state of affairs.
Words fail me as I sit here heavy hearted and try to pick up my senses. Good things don’t last a lifetime, and need to be cherished even if they were with you for an infinitesimal amount of time.
Be it the countless movies I saw with my unlimited cine world card, or the tasteful food that my aunty cooked for me where I stayed as a paying guest; with staying connected to the web all the time to all of those weekends when I turned into a gypsy and stayed out of the house; all those places I wandered in London with friends and the late nights; from the train journeys (national/tube/dlr etc.) to the pocketful of penny and £s; from the ‘me’ clad in woollens to the skimpily dressed gals with high heeled boots; all the new and plentiful of posh cars on the roads to the gorgeous white hunks (oooooooh); the checking of day’s weather on bbc.com and the planning for the holidays; from making new friends to those long gossips with mom hundreds miles away in India; from trying new cuisines to international fragrances; the winter/spring sales here to those boring dull meetings with client…all this and so much more......
So, even though I go back, so unexpectedly, I take back with me a load full of happy reminiscences, some with friends, some spent alone..Life doesn’t end here, and I am not too much of a loser to crumple at this juncture, but undoubtedly there are some dents that my going back has brought up, which will prick me till long time.
To sum it up all I would say is don’t curse the skies when out of the blue they pour their mercy upon you, even on a bright sunny day…coz the best part of it is that, its then you get to see the wonderful colours with the rainbow….and trust me it will be delightful!!
2 comments:
Come back soon...
hey ruchira.....i chanced upon ur cooking blog thru a mutual friends' FB wall.....it seems interesting and i wud like to visit again n again....then then i came to this blog of urs....this is really well written! touching! All the best for ur life!
Vinita
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